


Unsolicited Advice

by AlyssAlenko



Series: Stolen Moments for Shoker [22]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Advice, Bad Advice, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Kissing, Language, Love, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Mild Language, Relationship Advice, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Sexual Tension, Soulmates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, Trust, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:11:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9917732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssAlenko/pseuds/AlyssAlenko
Summary: Joker has a very important question to ask Shepard, and everyone on the Normandy has to have their own input about how it should go down. He didn't ask for their advice or opinions, but they've all grown so close they don't care. After a few hiccups, everything works itself out...





	

This was the most embarrassing moment of his life—he’d never thought of himself as a sappy person, but losing her wasn’t an option; she was his soulmate...of that he was sure. He was pacing, he realized with a start—not that this was anything awful, but God was he nervous...he pulled his baseball cap off his head before replacing the garment, as the doors to the cockpit slid open; it was now or never, or else he was going to lose his nerve. He’d never expected this day to come, but he couldn’t imagine life without her.  
  
“Marry me.” He blurted as he turned around.  
  
Not a great start.  
  
“Um...wow...this is...unexpected. I know we’re friends and all...but I don’t think of you like that, Joker.” Tali stammered.  
  
“She means no.” Garrus growled, glaring daggers at him.  
  
Joker could feel the blood draining from his face—Tali’s was not the face he was hoping to see and that made this situation even worse. Now they knew he had feelings...ones he tried so hard to hide. He could see Tali’s eyes sparkling behind her mask and he rubbed the back of his neck...was it too late to crawl into a hole and pretend this had never happened? Could the situation be more embarrassing? Tali stepped away from Garrus and into the cockpit, and Joker swore he could see the wheels turning in her head; this was not something he wanted to talk about.  
  
“That’s not how you’re going to propose, right? Shepard should be wooed, I mean you want her to say yes, right? Maybe you should take some pointers from Fleet and Flotilla.”  
  
Joker frowned. “What do you call what we’ve been doing for three years? Fleet and Flotilla. That’s Garrus’s domain.”  
  
Garrus coughed. “I don’t think human mating rituals count as wooing. Don’t females prefer something sparkly?”  
  
It was a fair point, but he already knew she loved him and he loved her, why did he need to do this any other way? Sure, he’d bought a ring, and seriously contemplated a candlelit dinner, rose petals strewn across the floor, and soft music playing in the background. Or maybe in the Armax Arena after she topped her own high score, because of how much she loved shooting things...though handling a gun wasn’t his strong suit; but Abigail had constantly told him all she wanted was him, the good and the bad. Was he wrong to take that at face value? Joker heaved a deep sigh and slumped into his chair...he’d have to postpone until he got everything settled, maybe seek a second opinion. He decided it was good Tali had been the one sneaking up on him...he could’ve at least gotten down on one knee and held out the ring box burning a hole in his pocket.

He had a second chance to get this right...  
  
“Come on, fuckers. If we don’t beat Shepard’s high score in the arena soon, I’m gonna lose my shit.” Jack edged into the cockpit.  
  
“Not now, Jack. We’re going to help Joker plan a romantic evening to propose to Shepard!” Tali exclaimed, far too excited about this.  
  
“Shepard’s a fucking classy lady, Shithead. You should take her to a fucking posh restaurant, make sure she has a diamond the size of my ass, and pop the fucking question over alcohol and pasta.” Jack grinned.  
  
Not sure if classy was how he’d describe anything Jack just said, but maybe he should go the extra mile with the grand romantic gesture…it _was_ supposed to be memorable. He nodded. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was that he wanted her to be only his as soon as he could possibly manage. That was something he could tell her, when he asked her—make it more personal and romantic.  
  
The preparation took all day, but by the time evening rolled around, he was ready and nervously pacing around the cockpit. He didn’t even want to know where Kasumi had found two dozen red roses, not to mention all the candles. Jack and Tali had forced him to write little love notes with clues all over the ship, and Garrus, after handing him a bottle of champagne had strong-armed everyone else away from the CIC to give them some privacy. He had never been more out of his element. The sound of her footsteps as she approached echoed, and his heart was pounding in time with the familiar sound.  
  
It wasn’t the most romantic setting, but it was familiar and it was his...theirs…  
  
“Abigail, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife? I don’t think I’ve ever needed anything like I need you.” Joker dropped to one knee as soon as the door slid open to show him it was really her; he didn’t need a repeat of earlier.  
  
Her eyes went wide in surprise as he looked up at her, hopeful, from where he knelt down on the floor on one knee. Neither of them knew how long they stood there, the silence hanging heavy in the cockpit. She should have expected this, with the cute little hand written notes dragging her all over the ship, the rose petals and candles leading from the CIC to the cockpit, more candles, Michael Bublé drifting out of the speakers, the suspicious lack of the crew. Any other woman would’ve swooned, and she had to admit she was close to it, but Joker didn’t do things like this, and she was fine with that—though at least he’d remembered her favorite singer. A wince flashed across his face.  
  
She crossed the room silently, and pulled him to his feet, pushing him gently into his chair—the position had to be hard on his legs. Abigail sat on his lap and draped her arms around his neck, pushing the bill of his hat up so it was almost completely off his head, the fingers of one hand woven into his beard, her nails scraping gently against the skin underneath, as she brought her lips down to his, softly. Joker’s lips were full and warm against hers. She kissed him once more, before pulling away and looking deep into his eyes and straddling him.  
  
Joker arched an eyebrow, smirking up at her, his hands caressing her sides, tickling her and making her squirm; her eyes glowed a brighter blue than their usual hue as her biotics flared under his touch, the air around his chair crackling to life. It looked like she was bathed in blue flames, and it lit a fire in him. She gazed at him seductively from under her long blonde lashes; his breath hitched. God, she still hadn’t answered him, and it was infuriating...he’d put his heart on the line and she was just letting him stew in his emotions—the same ones she knew he hated feeling.  
  
“Yes, Jeff. Of course, I’ll marry you!” She breathed. “Nothing would make me happier than to be Mrs. Jeff Moreau—what the hell took you so long?”  
  
His heart was in his throat as he held her close; she snuggled into his chest, one hand resting delicately on his chest.  
  
“I had to make it perfect…”  
  
“While I appreciate all the pomp and circumstance, and the ring is lovely, you could’ve just blurted ‘marry me’ here in the cockpit and I would’ve said yes.” She giggled, admiring the way her ring sparkled in the candlelight.  
  
“Are you shitting me?” Joker groaned.  
  
“I shit you not. This whole thing wasn’t you, it was everyone else, you’re snarky and unromantic but I love you anyways, and I can’t wait to marry you.” She winked.  
  
“I’ll have you know, I can be romantic.”  
  
“I’ll believe it when I see it, and lucky for both of us we get to spend the rest of our lifetimes working on it.”  
  
He rolled his eyes and kissed her passionately. She melted against him, moaning in pleasurable surrender into his mouth, her hands gripping the headrest of his chair. His arm tightened around her waist pulling her closer against his body until she felt every beat of his heart pulsing in time with her own as he lowered his mouth to the base of her neck where it met her shoulder, pulling the straps of her tank top down. She had just made him the happiest man in the galaxy.


End file.
